Did so much stuff today, feel like I've accomplished something.
Oh, the feeling of satisfaction. I'm even in quite a good mood for the first time in a while.

You know this side character in the movie who's a main character's girlfriend, and she's nice and you kinda like her? But we all know she's not his true love and we root for two main characters to get together and live happily ever after? And they do, probably, and he breaks up with this side character. And we kinda feel bad and maybe wanna see her get her own happy end, but if we don't, it's fine, we don't care much. Know that?
Well, I am this side character.

Broken crayons still color.
Make it your motto.
You're broken enough to do that.

Don't need any relationship right now. Nope. Whatsoever.
I just wanna be my old self again.
Stop crying so often and feeling awful. Stop remembering stuff from not so long ago and try to find the truth in words. There's no truth anymore. It doesn't matter. Whatever I'm looking for is not there.
I wanna be happy again. Enjoy every day of my life without all the thoughts I'm having now. And I'm having too much of those. Sometimes you need to stop thinking. I need to learn how to do that. ASAP.
I need to move out. For the first time I'm actually waiting for the summer to end, cause I'll definitely be out by then. Definitely.
And I've made a huge mistake thinking it was only friendly. It wasn't. I craved for more and I shouldn't. And I won't anymore.
I've decided that I wanna be over it. And I will be, cause I'm strong. I cry all the time, cause it's hard to be strong, but better this than miserable and alone and missing. Better cry it all out while I can.
But we're friends. Good ones. And I hope not to lose that. Cause I care. And he cares.
Let's just leave it at that.

When will I stop being such a crybaby?

I just hope you can break out of this web you've spun for yourself.
It's not doing you any good. And you know it.
But the web is so sweet you'd stay in it forever.
Well, don't. Listen to this wise fly.
I'm only here to help.

He was right, you know.
We ARE merging black holes.
And it only creates more destruction.
Creates destruction. Ha.
But I'm happy with the place we are at now.
So no complains.

Nobody likes your singing.
Shut up.
Stop annoying people.

раньше я думал, что пиратом может быть каждый. как глупо.

этажом выше.

а мы все падали, и падали, и падали вниз, пока не поняли, что уже мертвы.

грустно, что мы не такие, как все. очень грустно.

а когда взгляды пересекаются, в животе все сжимается. неприятно.

нужно, не нужно - решайте сами.

как это было глупо тогда. и поздно.

а тогда он сам же.

они же, а не мы.

все живут, мы просто.

Moms are weird. Sometimes they make it so much harder on you, and sometimes so much easier.
Like today, while we talked, she managed to do both in an hour. Ridiculous.
But I believe, I know that everything is going to be alright. With my life, with their life. We deserve it. And all of us will be finally happy.

Until shit hits the fan again. But at least we'll have a break.

Why can I never have one problem at a time? It always has to be a shit load of them.
And yes, I think I got over. I THINK. Ha. I hope.
But all the other stuff won't just disappear. And I so want it to. To resolve itself.

I just wanna be happy. For a moment. Truly happy.