sound of my voice
6 December
I'm not writing cause I'm fine. Surprisingly.
26 September
sucks being me rn
I'm sick again. Everything sucks. I haven't done anything useful. Gloria has ringworm again. My anxiety has been above my usual level for like three weeks already.
12 September
I fucking love it when I tell mom smth like "you do this and this and it's unpleasant" and she's like "I DON'T DO IT AND NOT DOING IT NOW", and you're like "maybe, yeah, maybe not now, just talking from experience, cause you do it a lot", and she's "I'M OFFENDED NOW I DON'T DO IT".

Right, mom. Right. It's just my imagination. You were not the reason for all my complexes and anxiety that I had to deal with myself. And am still dealing with.
24 August
Лежишь на диване, парень играет рядом в комп, и говоришь: "я пизда". И он, без заминки и не задумываясь, продолжает: "… тая".
11 April
just a nice change
I got used to sharing a bed again. For the first time in two years I feel comfortable sleeping with someone. That's a little bit weird, but also… nice.
27 March
Never thought I'd miss talking to someone so much…
It's only been like four days, but I'm so used to talking to him all day everyday that I miss it. A lot.
17 March
so very much failed
Apparently, my heart is not gonna consult with my brain.
Good job, Ann. Good fucking job.
I guess we're gonna see where this'll take me.
10 March
oh hell no
Not this again. Please. I don't need this.
I have no time. And, honestly, no desire.
a new low
Wow. Yes, great, Ann. Let's get so stressed you randomly cry and be hysterical. A fucking dream, right?
1 January

So. Let's wrap things up a little. 2017 was hard. Much better than 2016, but still hard. I've had a stressful last, err, half a year and I'm glad it's over. But let's focus on the goood stuff here, shall we?
I've become a camp counselor and I loved it! My first two shifts were very complicated, but I enjoyed them nonetheless. And I've met SO many people this year, it's crazy.
I've entered my second year at university and this semester was difficult. But I still love studying and that's what's important.
I finally have my own flat! This is insane, I still cannot believe it sometimes. And since I do, I have my beautiful big bookshelves now! That's the real joy of life.
I also adopted a cat from a shelter. Her name is Gloria and she likes to bite, but she also likes to kiss and is generally very smart and pretty. I love her.
I've realized how important it is to be a feminist in this world and I'm proud to be one!
Some of my friendships have blossomed and matured and I appreciate it so much. AND I gained some new friends!
I went to see a musical I was dying to see! Onegin's Demon. Gods, it was absolutely amazing and I definitely wanna see it again. As well as the other musicals those guys have.
I also went to a concert this year. LSP. Didn't realize I could actually enjoy such music, I guess I was wrong. Cause I enjoyed the concert a lot.
New album by Taylor Swift was so amazing I feel like mentioning it here.

See? I've had a great year even with all the stress and sleepless nights and anxiety. I hope next one is gonna be even better.
Hello, 2018! I'm ready for it!

21 December


I'm headed straight for the castle, They wanna make me their queen. And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean. I'm headed straight for the castle, They’ve got the kingdom locked up. And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut. Straight for the castle.»
— Halsey - Castle
11 November


They're burning all the witches even if you aren't one.»
— Taylor Swift - I did something bad
I feel better.
31 October
so dumb
So… My cat's got a ringworm. That's not nice. And nah, she's fine ans will be fine.
The stupid part is that I can get it as well, if my immune system is weak. And guess who fucking got sick a day ago? Me! Yay! Fucking hate myself right now.
Also, I hope Gloria is not too bored in the bathroom by herself. I can't even be with her, really.
18 October
feel broken
So, I'm back with my god-awful mood. Yup. It's sticking. I thought it'd go away, but it's here to stay.
I don't know if it's just autumn depression or something worse. Good things happen to me one after another and I don't feel them. Only realize them with my mind.
It's been almost two months and I still feel bad, the pills that usually tone down my anxiety didn't help and I don't know what to do.
Books help a little bit, but not for long, only while I'm reading and maybe right after…
I hope it passes soon. I can't go on like that. It's exhausting.