sound of my voice
18 April
fucking anxiety or OCD; or both
You know what I'm great at? Coming up with obsessive thoughts. And it doesn't have to be anything sad or bad or anything. It can be something like "I need to drink water". Aaand that's it. I'm done for, until I go and do that. Or something like "I need to know how Agamemnon died exactly" while I'm in a middle of a sentence while reading a book… It honestly drives me crazy.
Usually happens when I'm trying to fall asleep, but not always. Great ability you have there, girl. Keep it up.
3 April
hello, darkness, my old friend
I feel my post-birthday depression coming up. It's rather late this year.
It actually has nothing to do with my birthday, but hey! Whatever. Need to get rid of it. Fast. I have no time for depression.
4 March
only-bad-stuff writer
Have you noticed that when I'm fine I have nothing to write about? I have.
21 January

So, a few days ago I finished all my exams and got only good marks. That's great.
The weather is lovely, I missed sun so much. That's amazing.
I have almost two weeks of rest and I can actually do nothing and be cool about it. That's unbelievable.

Overall? I feel great. Not "constantly happy and smiling like an idiot" great, but great nonetheless. Finally.

1 January

I've had good moments in 2016, but that year was so very hard on me emotionally that, unfortunately, it almost covered all the good I've had. But! Let's try and focus on the bright side for once:
I've had working experience in a book store and I loved it!
I've met Ruslan Usachev, quite a popular YouTuber, while working there.
And some very good people I still keep in touch with.
I got a pet. Degu named Splinter.
I passed exams on my own, again.
Entered the university I've dreamed of for quite some time and now majoring in philology, yas!
I've met a new friend there, Chris, and this woman makes me feel better in a lot of ways.
I also have a fantastic group there, excluding maybe a couple of people. But screw them.
I tried real Korean food (or as close to it as possible) and loved it!
Bought fairy lights I've wanted for a while and pinned them on my wall. Looks beautiful.
Got to see a few really good movies like Fantastic Beasts and Moana.
And, finally, I came home for the first time in a year!
See? I've had my moments. And I hope that 2017 will be full of those beautiful, memorable moments. Mostly I hope I'll regain my mental health and will smile more than cry.

21 December
am I too much of a grown up now? naaaah
Okay, where the hell is my Christmas mood? What the fuck, life?
11 December

It's Christmas alright. For me the whole December is.
Also I got those beautiful fairy lights I've always wanted, so that's amazing.

5 December
for no reason whatsoever
I feel like I'm drowning. Hope it's temporary.
2 December
but it's not like I need much more
The only moment I regret I have like four friends is when all of them are busy or unable to go with me somewhere. And one of them is in another city to top all that.
29 November
too personal
I should… I need to learn how to separate myself from songs and poems. It brings up too much.
23 November
Why do I even have feelings?
18 November
they say alone doesn't mean lonely; ha
You know what makes me sad the most?
That I don't have anyone to say "good morning" to.
13 November

Christmas is close. So close. And I feel… Okay, you know.

4 November
fucking witch
You know how you have a habit of thinking that everything's okay and you feel better? Well, you need to lose it. Cause when you do think that, things usually go down the drain.
25 October
you'll rise again
Soon snow will cover everything.
And by the time next spring comes, I'll be completely fine.