sound of my voice
13 November

Christmas is close. So close. And I feel… Okay, you know.

4 November
fucking witch
You know how you have a habit of thinking that everything's okay and you feel better? Well, you need to lose it. Cause when you do think that, things usually go down the drain.
25 October
you'll rise again
Soon snow will cover everything.
And by the time next spring comes, I'll be completely fine.
21 October
the exact description of this blog, lol
Fuckfuckfuck.
Everything sucks.
Badbadbad.
I'm so tired.
Sad.
Crying.

Oh, I'm fine, look at me, I'm cool, I'm strong, I'm moving on.

Ah, no, I'm not. Sorry, my mistake.
Hello, darkness, my old friend.
17 October
"super only friend" my ass
I think I know what's wrong with me. It's that feeling, the realization that… Well, I'm not a priority anymore. Simple as that.
13 October
dream on
I wanna go to London. So much. SO MUCH.
10 October
all black zebra
So, how long does bad luck usually lasts? When do I get to jump to a next page?
8 October
am I that stupid?
Think about it, jeez!
Why do you keep tormenting yourself and cry your eyes out. I hope that's PMS, but you know it's not only that.
It's never gonna go away that way. Or heal.
It was so silly of you to think that the change of scenery and activities on itself is going to help. Nothing is gonna make you stop hurting except you.
So start acting like an adult. Make the right choices. Like you did once already. You did make a right one and you know it. So make some more.
And when you do - once you do! - stick to it.
3 October
I hate myself during PMS.
25 September

Madilyn Bailey – Scars (Papa Roach cover)

I've always cared too much. About everything. But this song in particular is connected to a hard period of my life (I think it was May of 2016.)
The period when I was trying to mend the heart of the man I loved. I was trying to help him get over a girl he kept loving even when he started dating me. And it was painful. And I wanted to end it. He was driving me crazy. And the fact that I couldn't help him made me feel so powerless and useless.
"I can't help you fix yourself,
But at least I can say I tried".
And I did try. Very hard. "I'm sorry, but I gotta move on with my own life". And I so desperately wanna move on. I'm trying really hard.
But I still care too much and it's very painful. Sometimes I just wanna be a cold-hearted bitch.

24 September
I am the pain.
16 September

Fleur - Кто-то.
По моим песням можно предсказать мою судьбу. А также рассказать о прошлом и настоящем. Никаких гадалок не надо.
Это так глупо, но сколько слушаю треки, не только этот, столько себя отождествляю.
Ощущение, что подбирая все эти песни много лет назад или недавно, я знаю, что произойдет в моей жизни.

Please, let me go.
9 September
they say crazy is popular; well, fuck
This year (from last September to current one) was the craziest year of my life. It was the happiest and the most miserable of all. I'm grateful for it and I want it gone from my life.
This year was complicated. I loved it. And I hated it.
But I guess, no matter what I say or feel, I don't really regret having it. It taught me quite a lot.
I'm accepting it. And moving on.
4 September
be a little kinder than you have to
I need to learn how to talk to people properly. To be less aggressive, less sarcastic. It's almost never funny to anyone. I'm the only one enjoying it.
Cause I'm fucking selfish.
And mean.
And I don't have much friends not only because I don't want to (although that's still a thing), but because of those reasons above.
Need to learn to control the things I say.
Need to shut up sometimes.
I'm neither ugly nor stupid. Just very, very mean. That's why nobody likes me.
No one will ever like a person who spits poison while talking.
So be kinder.
Be smarter than this.
And calmer.
C'mon, Ann, it's time to grow up. Time to forgive humanity for everything.
You know how much some words and actions can hurt. You do. So stop trying to hurt people back.
Be better.
And maybe it'll come back to you.